Five reasons to love sports talk radio

In case you didn’t know, the San Francisco Giants are playing in the World Series for the third time in five years. They’re trying to win the ultimate baseball championship yet again, after triumphing in 2010 and 2012. And there’s nowhere better for Giants fans to get all the stats and commentary — essentially, to live the game right alongside the team, than on sports talk radio. In the Bay Area, we listen to KNBR, “the sports leader.” They have two stations, AM 680 and AM 1050, plus online access. They’re the official radio broadcasters for Giants baseball, Warriors basketball, and 49ers football. Loyal fans listen to KNBR all year long, but anyone with a passing interest in sports should check out sports talk radio when your hometown team is, to use a sports talk cliché, “on the verge of making history.”

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Five reasons I love sports talk radio:

1. It’s fun

Sports talk radio shows typically feature two personalities who engage in witty banter, laugh at each other, find funny things to highlight or give sports figures silly nicknames — all in the name of fun, of bringing a smile to your commute. Most of the partnerships have catchy names: Murph & Mac, Gary & Larry, or the Bay Area’s favorite baseball announcers, Kruk & Kuip. Some of the guys, such as Mike Krukow and Duane Kuiper, do play-by-play for games. Others have built a following by talking about sports, interviewing sports figures and perhaps most important, fielding calls from listeners. All of them stay positive. No depressing world news here: it’s all sports, all the time.

2. It’s efficient

Although it’s possible to waste hours listening to different callers’ opinions on how they would have executed an important play differently, or what they think is critical for the team to win its next game, tuning in to sports talk radio is actually an efficient way to collect a few stats and soundbites that will give you “street creed” with your spouse, your co-workers or even the guys who fix your car or computer. Fifteen minutes of sports talk radio in the car will pay off later, when you mention an interesting statistic or story you remember, or you drop the name of last night’s key player. This modest investment of time can make you look completely plugged in to the sports situation.

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3. Everybody gets to be an expert

The best part about sports talk radio is the call-in show, where regular fans go on-air with their opinions about the game their team just played, or what the team needs to do in its next game. After the Giants won their first 2014 World Series game 7-1, emotion was running so high that some callers predicted the Giants would sweep the Series, just like they did back in 2012. But the next day, after San Francisco lost to Kansas City 7-2, fans were somber and analytical. “If I were Botchy [SF’s manager], I wouldn’t have left Peavy in for so long.” Or, “Why is that guy Strickland allowed to pitch at all? We’re not in AAA — this is the World Series!”

Callers had even more concerns after the Giants lost Game 3 in San Francisco, bringing the series to 2-1 games in favor of Kansas City. But fan exuberance returned after Game 4, where a come-from-behind win evened the series score, and everyone who followed baseball in San Francisco knew the Giants’ ace, Madison Bumgarner, would be pitching the following day. After San Francisco won Game 5 with a historic 5-0 shutout, callers started to celebrate a World Series victory in advance. They offered advice on how to handle the relief bullpen situation, how the Giants could “wrap things up,” how we really had KC “on the ropes,” and on and on.

The thing with sports talk is, everybody gets his or her moment to be the expert — to explain what s/he would have done better than the people who get paid lots of money to manage teams and play games. When reviewing a loss, the benefit of hindsight allows callers endless variations on what the team “could” have done. When the team wins, they offer thoughts on how “we” can keep the streak going. People use statistics to bolster their arguments, and/or add warnings that restrain fan excitement. Callers show depth of passion and at times extensive knowledge about the game. Phoning in gives them the chance to shine.

4. It offers lively debate, but within limits

Sports talk radio hosts keep callers on air longer if they have an interesting viewpoint or an entertaining manner. They dispense quickly with callers who add nothing to their program, sometimes even losing calls with a “technical glitch” that may or may not be accidental. But hosts never insult their callers, never suggest they could be spending their time better elsewhere.

Most calls discuss hypothetical situations. They deal with games that are past, or games that haven’t yet been played. As stated above, callers get to show off their knowledge. Sports talk radio hosts encourage lively debate, but at no time is a caller permitted to bash the home team. One of their unwritten rules, but every bit as firm as unwritten baseball rules like “If their pitcher hits one of your team’s players, you have to hit one of theirs,” is that ALL callers have to be fans of the home team. You can debate ideas and opinions, but everyone has the same team’s best interest at heart.

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5. Sports talk radio builds community

By valuing a diversity of views about “the small stuff,” while holding fast to the overall goal of wanting to see the home team win, sports talk radio brings people together. It gives fans a place to talk about their favorite teams, and for those who listen regularly, it offers consistent hosts who can become your radio “friends,” in much the same way TV news show hosts or bloggers you read regularly seem familiar and comfortable. Sports talk radio also gives listeners connection with each other, as they agree or disagree, but recognize that ultimately, they are united by their love of the same sports team. Positive and entertaining, sports talk radio lets fans celebrate (or commiserate) together and allows them to feel united with a bigger cause.

Join in with passion

If you’re even a little bit of a fan, tune in to sports talk radio to become more conversant in the game, celebrate your team’s wins and witness true passion at work. As you’re listening, reflect on why we don’t let ourselves experience other ups and downs of life with the same intensity as we attach to sports — why we don’t allow ourselves to feel or express similar levels of emotion at work, school and home as we do when rooting for our team. Maybe steeping ourselves in sports talk radio’s passionate community will help bring passion to the rest of our lives, too.

But for now, GO GIANTS!!

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Image credits: KNBR, Wikimedia, Comcast Sports Net, Anne Rosales

Messy today, empty tomorrow

Today my house is messy and happy. We just returned from vacation, so there are suitcases everywhere, mounds of laundry, mail spilling off the entry table. Plus the packing activities of my youngest son, who leaves for his second year of college tomorrow morning. And my oldest, who leaves tonight with his bride. My daughter was here for a few weeks, but she left nearly a month ago. Our house reflects a summer of coming and going, living in the moment, not concerning myself with clutter. But tomorrow they’ll be gone. The house will be empty. There will be time to clean, but I will be sad.

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When does it get easier to say goodbye to my kids? One or more of them has been leaving for six years now. Their lives are lived elsewhere. While they come back to share themselves with us from time to time, our home will never again be the center of their world. I know this is how it should be, how I want it to be. But I hate it all the same.

Tomorrow I’ll start to clean up the remains of a summer where I relaxed and enjoyed my family’s company. It’s actually easier now, since I no longer have to mediate children’s squabbles, remind them to do their homework, or drive to their innumerable activities. Tomorrow, while I clean, my footsteps will echo through the house. My husband will go to the office. Only the dog will hear my quiet crying.

For one more day, I’ll live in the mess and be happy. Cleaning can wait until tomorrow.

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Have YouTube don’t need Mom

Say you’re a teenage boy. There’s a girl you have a crush on, and you want to ask her to the school dance. But you can’t begin to tell anyone or get tips on how to act calm when you’re nervous.  Least of all, you can’t discuss it with your mom. She wouldn’t get it, anyway. She’d probably say something dumb and make you feel embarrassed. But that’s okay: lots of other guys have gone before you, and they’ve documented their experiences on YouTube.

Or you’re a middle school girl, and you’re itching to dye a pink streak in your hair. You know your mom will freak out, though, so you can’t ask her to help you do it. Again, no problem: there are tons of YouTube videos to show you how.

In short: have YouTube — don’t need Mom.

YouTube shows you how

YouTube is not merely the source for home videos, humor riffs, stupid cat movies and viral memes. It showcases people demonstrating all kinds of practical skills, answering questions like you used to ask your parents. You’ll find YouTube channels devoted to cooking, makeup, home and car repair. You can learn to sew, knit, crochet, do macrame or pottery, just by watching videos on your smart phone or computer.

YouTube takes over mom’s job

Mom’s job of teaching her kids how to do stuff is becoming obsolete. For example, none of my kids cared about learning to do laundry before they left for college. Never mind: there are plenty of videos online where college girls or guys show you how to wash your clothes, and they’re much more fun to watch than Mom. For more info on garment care, young men can turn to Esquire’s Virtual Valet channel, which has videos on how to iron a shirt, pack a back, polish a shoe, sew on a button, and more.

Mom’s not the expert anymore

Moms no longer possess exclusive knowledge or skills. Anyone can use web video to learn to make pie crust, peel an orange in one long strip, fold perfect hospital corners on a bed. My son sent me a link to a video for “spatchcocking” your Thanksgiving turkey to cook it in half the time. Not only has YouTube replaced me as the source of cooking knowledge — I’m now a recipient of its wisdom, directed at me through my offspring.

YouTube targets ever-younger audiences

As if that weren’t enough, YouTube assistance is reaching down to younger ages. For example, there are numerous videos on how to tie your shoes. Moms can get advice on potty training or sleep training from YouTube. But think of it this way: we can outsource tedious child-rearing tasks — especially now that lots of kids have iPads. Too bad a video can only show you how to change a diaper.

YouTube states that its users watch over 6 billion hours of video every month, with 100 hours of video being uploaded every minute. It’s no wonder you can find better how-to instruction online than Mom could have ever offered. More than that, you can learn stuff Mom never would have told you.

But YouTube can’t do everything

What’s a mom to do? She’s no longer the one her kids look to for advice on domestic matters or traditional passages along the way to adulthood. However, a video can’t look at the jam your son is cooking and tell him when it’s thick enough to put into the jars. And while YouTube might show him the best method for tying a bow tie, it’s not going to tell him how handsome he looks as he leaves for his senior prom.

Furthermore, YouTube can show your daughter how to pick up a slipped stitch in her knitting, but you’re still the one she’ll turn to when she gets frustrated and needs someone to correct her mistake.

You can’t beat YouTube, so embrace it

Here’s how I see it: YouTube offers more and often better “how to” information than moms could ever provide. It’s crowd-sourcing at its best. For moms, delegating instruction in tasks where we don’t excel anyway is a win for us and our kids.  It leaves us more time for the aspects of parenting that YouTube can’t handle. We get to focus on things we do best, connecting with our children in more meaningful ways.

And since we’re saving time by having YouTube teach our kids basic chores and life skills, we can do other stuff. Like watch stupid cat videos.

 

Image credits: YouTube, fdecomite via flickr

Two weeks, two graduations, what’s next for me?

Last month we celebrated. First was college graduation for my eldest on the East Coast, then back home for the last rites of high school with my youngest. There were so many parties and official events that I powered through by focusing on logistics. Now I have time to stop and consider the meaning of it all.

 

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There’s no denying middle age

In addition to the festivities, I also underwent that initiation into middle age, the baseline colonoscopy. And recently I’ve spent hours collecting financial documents, as my husband and I worked with an attorney to update our wills. Little wonder that my spinning instructor cautioned me about hunching my shoulders, and my chiropractor told me to come back in just a week.

 

That persistent question

Why can’t I stop and bask in my kids’ graduations — celebrate a job well done? Why do I jump to “what’s next?” Maybe it has to do with the question people were asking me at last month’s functions: “Now you’re going to be an empty nester. What do you think about that, and what do you plan to do with yourself?

 

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I tense up. For twenty years I’ve been a stay-at-home mom, school and sports volunteer, carpool driver and family chef. I don’t know how to translate these skills into something that will give my life meaning for the next twenty years.

I know I’m over-reacting. Folks are just being nice when they ask me “what’s next.” We don’t know each other well, and they’re trying to make conversation. Maybe the woman who asks me this is gathering ideas for her own midlife transition, or maybe she wonders if anyone else dreads an empty nest as much as she does. In fact, the actual number of people asking me “what’s next” has been small — nonetheless, I feel overwhelmed by the question.

 

Not knowing what’s next

For lots of us, it’s a scary transition. We’re left alone as our children go off to new adventures, friends and opportunities. Although it doesn’t hit you when they’re in elementary or middle school, the implication of raising your kids to be independent is that, eventually, they won’t need you anymore. This is good. But it’s also terrible.

I’ve spent the better part of two decades shepherding my children through their activities, helping with homework, doing laundry and cooking, and learning about their friends and interests. Now I’m staying put while they move on to do these things somewhere else, without me. Sure, it’s nice to do less laundry than before, not to always plan ahead what we’ll have for dinner. But there’s a big hole in my day-to-day life where my kids used to be, and I’m not sure how to fill it.

 

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A beginning or an end?

Commencement: for the graduates, it’s a beginning. For me, the graduates’ mother, it feels like more of an end. The end of their childhoods, the end of little people who need me, the end of doing what I know how to do.

I have faith there’ll be more joy ahead — I’ll make my way through this tunnel of sadness, fear and confusion. But I’m not ready to announce “what’s next” for me.

When I figure it out, though, I’ll be sure to let you know.

 

Image credits: Daisy Shih, Nick Harris, Anne Rosales

My life is good; so why am I feeling bad?

Have you ever had one of those days? Maybe not a day worthy of posting to the FML website, but one that reminds you of the children’s book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day? Monday was like that for me. By the time the day ended, I couldn’t isolate anything that I’d call “terrible” about my life — I just was feeling bad.

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Feeling bad after the older kids leave

It started Sunday, when my college kids returned to school after being home for a week on spring break. I liked having our whole family together again, enjoyed seeing the older two tease their younger brother. It was just like old times. Then they went back to their “real” homes at college, to their friends and their lives there. While it’s nice to stop sharing my car and go back to my routine in our household of three, I know that next year we’ll be a household of two  — and I’m worried that’s not going to feel so great, at least not initially.

Knowing I wasn’t feeling particularly good, I thought I’d ease into Monday, use the morning to catch up on paperwork, do laundry, change sheets and clean up my older kids’ bedrooms. They left their rooms as if they’d been leaving a hotel — beds unmade, shopping bags on the floor, papers and receipts on the night tables. Straightening up in the quiet, I felt like a housekeeper — not the mother of three well-adjusted children.

Feeling bad about a lost ring

Then I realized one of my rings was missing. Not my wedding ring, but the one my husband gave me for our twenty-fifth anniversary. A little worried, I checked the bathroom, the kitchen counter, my jewelry box. Not there. So I looked harder: I put my hand down the kitchen sink to check the disposal, looked all around the house. Cleaned out my purse, checked the pockets of my clothes.

I called the restaurant where we had dinner last night. No, they hadn’t seen my ring.

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Feeling bad and sorting through refuse

So I went through the last three days’ worth of garbage, then turned over the recycling bin and emptied it out to make sure the ring hadn’t slipped off my finger when I tossed out old magazines. Still nothing. I went outside and dug through the compost, running my hands through banana peels, coffee grounds, chicken bones, Saturday’s Indian takeout, and more slime I won’t discuss. But still no ring.

So at least we weren’t about to send it off with the garbage truck. But if the ring wasn’t in the trash, I’d have to look more aggressively inside the house. I cleaned out two bathroom drawers, then dismantled the sink drain. No luck.

Finally, something possessed me to check a closet I had looked in two hours earlier. This time I saw it.

But you know what? I thought I’d feel happy to find the ring, especially after looking all that time. Instead I just felt relieved. And emotionally worn out.

Feeling bad at tennis

I left to play a tennis match I had scheduled for the afternoon. It lasted only an hour. I lost 6-0, 6-0.

I wasn’t sure what was going on with me, but the day wasn’t getting better. I remembered my dad’s response whenever things got tough. He would say, “Want a cup of coffee, honey?”

So I went for a cappuccino and one of those delicious seven-layer cookie bars. I sat and stared out the coffeeshop window while I gathered my strength to go grocery shopping. I wondered whether I should quit playing tennis, spend my time on something I could do well. But wasn’t it okay to like a sport and want to play it, even if I played poorly?

On the other hand, if I couldn’t win, could I honestly say I liked tennis? I realized I was immersed in a conversation with myself, with my own Voice of Judgment. I had made this whole day about me, and I was over-reacting to a poor outcome in a match I supposedly had played “for fun.”

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The feeling-bad vortex

How did I get here, to this place of feeling bad? I have a great life: faith, family, friends, health, financial stability, and more. So why, all too often, do I spin down the woe-is-me vortex?

Sure, I know there are real people with real problems in this world. And I’m not one of them. It’s just a lot easier to stay in my personal vortex, than to get out of it and experience someone else’s.

I bought my groceries, went home and cooked a good dinner. At least that much of my day went okay. Actually, the whole day was fine, if you consider it in relation to the day of someone with real problems.

What drags you down, and how do you pull out of your vortex? Let me know in the comments!

 

Image credits: Amazon, Portland Observer, photoholic1 via flickr